Chris and I just got back from a very relaxing few days up in Lake Tahoe to ring in the New Year with some good friends, lots of laughs and a much-needed dose of nature. The post-Christmas trip to the lake has become an annual tradition, and for us there’s no better way to reflect on the year gone by and begin looking forward to the year ahead. And wow, we’ve had quite a roller coaster of a year with so much to reflect upon! And of course there’s a lot to look forward to…
So much of 2013 revolved around our adoption journey, with more ups and downs than I could possibly bore you all with here. But by far, our greatest high and our deepest low of the past 12 months were both wrapped up in the same experience of matching with a birth mom for five wonderful months and then having it fall through at the last minute. But I believe everything happens as it’s meant to, even when it’s hard to accept. We’ve been in touch with the birth mother recently and she is ecstatic to be a mom and totally in love with her baby boy — which is the way it should be. But I can tell you that those five months were some of the most fun and exciting of my life, so I choose to remember them fondly and use them as a reminder of how good it will feel when the right match comes along.
It wouldn’t be a proper New Years blog post if I didn’t mention the big “r” word…resolution. Like many of you I’m sure, I’ve been asked many times over the past few days what my News Year’s resolution is. To be honest, I’m kind of exhausted from trying to think of a good answer. My first instinct has been to respond with something about becoming a dad. It usually goes kind of like this:
FRIEND: “What’s your resolution this year?” ME: “To find an amazing connection with a birth mom and become a dad!”
Sounds like a good plan, right? So easy! The only trouble is that the more I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that my resolution must be something I can control. And so there it is again, that seemingly harmless word that seems to present itself over and over with me throughout this adoption process (see my previous post about A-type personalities!). So I’ve gone back to the drawing board to think more about what I can resolve to do during the next year specifically related to our adoption, and here’s what I’ve come up with:
- First and foremost, I resolve to be patient with the process and stay open to what lies ahead, regardless of how many twists in the road we experience along the way.
- I resolve to be proactive with getting out there and making sure as many people as possible know we are looking to start a family.
- I resolve to stay excited and not let the process wear us down. I want each day to feel like that first day we decided to become dads through adoption.
- I resolve to keep meeting new people who are going down this same road so we can share our stories and lean on each other for support.
- And finally, I resolve to keep living our lives and doing the things that make us happy while we wait. The happier we are and the more experiences we have, the better dads we will eventually be.
Hmmm…now that I’ve written that down it seems like a lot. But those are the things I can realistically commit to. I am really excited for the possibilities of 2014 and wish everyone reading this the happiest and healthiest of new years! I’m looking forward to continuing to share the experiences of our “baby wait” in the months ahead. Buckle up!